After her recovery, Ximei related to us her story.
She was from a village in Huazhou. She lived with her parents, three brothers and a sister. They were farmers. Her father was formerly the headman of the village. She studied up to secondary school. She lived in with a man two years her senior for three years. They opened a sundry shop.
At the end of 2007, she noticed swelling in her lower abdomen. February 2008, she went to the People’s Clinic at Zhangjiang City for medical examination. She was warded for 10 days. After ultrasound and CT scan, the doctor informed that she had ovarian cancer. She asked the doctor her chance of survival and was told that she could only live for another 1 to 2 years if she timely underwent operation and chemotherapy. She asked how long she could live without getting any treatment. The doctor hesitantly told her that she could probably live for 1 to 2 years. She did not request for treatment. Upon learning that she had cancer, her boy friend proposed to break up with her and asked her to promise in writing not to look for him any longer. She refused to accept that. However, as a kind hearted person, she decided to leave home in order not to trouble them because of her sickness.
Her boy friend and brother borrowed a car and sent her to her cousin at Hua Zhou city about 20km away. She lived with her cousin. 10 days later she went to Hainan Island. She had spent 4000 Yuan from her saving of 8000 Yuan on hospitalization. She would like to spend all the rest of her saving since she had only 1 to 2 years to live; she rented a small house by the seaside for 100Yuan a month. Most of the day she would be at the beach and she lived on fish. After 4 months, she left Hainan Island for home and stayed in her sister’s house. By them her abdomen was as big as a eight-month pregnant woman.
Except for her boy friend, everybody thought that she was pregnant. They soon realized it was not the case and suspected she was suffering from a disease. Her sister was financially unsound. In order not to affect the life of her sister and family, she left for Maoming City bringing with her 200 Yuan given by her sister and brother-in-law. She housed herself either at the park or corridors of shop-houses; benches and concrete floor became her bed.
Day by day, her stomach became bigger and bigger. One evening she walked to a jetty looking at the muddy, gushing water below. She wanted to jump into the water to commit suicide as she thought that would be the best solution. Then she noticed a flight of ants moving hurriedly towards higher ground to escape from rising water. She suddenly realized that how stupid it was for her to entertain the thought of suicide when tiny insects like ants treasured their lives. She wanted to live on. She sat on a concrete bench by the side of the river and fell asleep soon. The next morning, she was awakened by an elderly lady; the old lady gave her two steamed buns and walked away. As the elderly lady was leaving, tears started to flow down on her cheeks; she realized that there were people who still cared for her.
7th October 2009, she left for Zhanjiang again. The first place she thought of was the People’s Hospital that diagnosed her sickness. It was the biggest hospital there. That would be the place where she could put her hope on. She went to the hospital. Sometimes she would sit on a chair in the out-patient clinic and sometimes on a concrete bench at the compound outside of the clinic. Seeing patients walking in and out of the clinic with X-ray films and medicine, she was very tempted to register for consultation. Her thought was dampened each time she realized that she was penniless. She thought of going to beg for treatment from doctors of the hospital but she gave up the idea as that would cause embarrassment to the doctors, so she thought. However, there were kind people around who would give her some money and food to eat; once a man who taught “medicines” in the nearby area gave her 500 Yuan. That was the biggest amount that she had ever been given. That man left without telling her his name.
Finally, a doctor from the Invasive Treatment Centre noticed her and gave her a simple physical examination; He also gave her a packed lunch and asked her to come back for it every day. He told her that he would like to drain out some abdominal fluid for her. However, a week later, the doctor informed her that he had talked with his superior but due to certain limitations, he was unable to help. In order not to make him feel bad, Ximei did not go back to that doctor again.
During that time, her condition had worsened; she could no longer squat down to ease herself. Walking became more and more difficult; she would pant badly after merely walking for 3 to 5 steps. She realized that her days were numbered. She did not want to die on a road as this would be most ‘unsightly’. She preferred wondering around the hospital area so that even if she would to drop dead, the hospital would take care of her remains and send for incineration. She wanted to die with pride. For the past two years of wondering around, she took good care of herself and kept herself clean. She would take bath and wash hair once every two days; she wanted to keep her body and soul ‘clean’ all the time.
While she was counting her days, it never occurred to her that the day 19th December, 2009 would bring with it hope for a new lease of life.